I want my brain back.

At the urging and encouragement of one of my oldest friends, who is also one of my most well-accomplished friends and thus well worth looking to for advice and pep talks, I am starting a blog. I already keep a journal, which is personal but not in an embarrassing way (anymore). It should be interesting to edit myself in terms of a public forum, as opposed to the meandering wonderings that I'm accustomed to.
Here's the thing: I want my brain back.
For the past several years, I've been working in the film industry as a member of the camera crew. Quote: "I got into this industry for the glamour, and I'm not leaving until I see some!" Well, I've seen enough, and I'm leaving. I'm getting out. It's like the mob - easier said than done - but I'm sick of doing a job where I don't really get to be smart. Sure, you have to think to be good at it, but there are no real creative rewards and nothing that pushes your thinking into any new ground. Being a member of the crew also tends to make you hard and bitter. The most consistent piece of advice that I received during my apprenticeship was "Get out while you still can." The oh-so-stubborn side of me naturally pushed against this, wanting to prove that I can do it. I consider it proven. Now I'd like to prove that I'm smart enough to actually take some advice.

Last night I went out to a concert - part of the North by Northeast music festival - we saw the awesome Dead Letter Department. Then later some cool cats from Japan. Highlights include the drummer getting naked on stage except for a cock-sock. Then we changed venues and saw some white guys doing hip-hop.
Why does this relate? Besides the fact that seeing live rock always makes me want to learn how to play guitar (not that I have any aspirations at rock-goddess-dom, but it would just be so cool to be able to make music - we all know I don't do that with my singing voice) these guys were all following a dream: making art. Whether it's shouting in a Japanese accent: "I can't hear that sex noise!", dudes rapping that they "do it for the passion, do it for the pain", or Rob from DLD taking us on a sonic walking tour of our hometown, I was really inspired. For a musician, the shouts and claps from the audience make it worth it - there's magic in the give and take of a live show. Yet somehow I think that all these people would keep doing it anyway.
So if there's a lesson to be learned from a too-late Thursday on the town, it's to pursue passion.
I'm getting my brain back!
As for my well-accomplished friend, she's taking a big leap of faith and heading off into the unknown in the next couple weeks. I am proud of her and excited for her. And I thank her for setting a good example!