Sweet, sweet addiction and my twelve step plan.

Hi.
I'm an addict.
I need to admit that I am powerless in the face of sugar. I cannot pass a bakery without being lured in by the promise of sweet baked goods; when co-workers bring in snacks and leave them on the filing cabinet just outside my cubicle, I make up excuses to get up and walk around so that I can grab another on my way by; and buffet tables are my undoing. I do not control my consumption of sugar - it controls me.
My first incling that I had a problem came in High School, when I actually mustered up the nerve to tell one of my friends that she should "maybe quit smoking." She rounded on my with a defensive: "It's not that easy! That's like me asking you to stop eating sweets!" I never thought I'd been that obvious. I felt shame when I realized that clearly everyone had seen me go back for thirds of birthday cake. Speaking of cake, things started getting really bad in University. A roommate I had will testify that I polished off an entire birthday cake (at least it was mine) in one day. Lucky for me and my waistline, in an unplanned exercise in booze-induced bulimia, I threw it all up later that night.
I knew I'd hit bottom when I awoke one morning on the floor of a strange motel room, dress spattered with red globs of jelly, face and hands smeared with white powdered sugar, and empty doughnut boxes all around. I had no memory of the clearly indulgent binge that had happened the night before, but I could no longer respect myself, and neither could the freckled youth in the Tim Horton's uniform who was tied to the bed.
I need a greater power to restore me to sanity, and I turn my will and life over to... um... Splenda?
After a searching and fearless inventory of myself, I need to admit that I was wrong to order desert all those times. I apologize to anyone who has ever wanted to leave a restaurant and I made them stay for the sweet course. I apologize to the roommate mentioned above, who often had to go on walks with me to the local corner store late at night in order to buy chocolate to satisfy a late-night craving. I'm really sorry to all those kids I elbowed out of the way in line for the sweet table at that bar mitzvah. Another brownie was not worth a black eye on a nine-year-old.
I know that I am not alone. Sugar addiction is so common in industrialized Western nations as to be unrecognizable. If you're out there thinking "what harm can one more cookie do?" know this: Refined sugar actually causes physiological addiction. Consumption of sugar causes your body to produce more insulin, which in turn causes a rise in serotonin, a natural mood upper. That's why you get that fabulous sugar high. And you crave it again. Like MDMA, only with more calories. Once you're hooked on that buzz, continuous large doses of sugar (curse you, Ben & Jerry) can cause a build up of mood-depressing insulin, and the brain's serotonin-production sites to slow -- so you have to eat more to get the same lift. We are all familiar with that one, when suddenly half a container of Haagen Daz doesn't do it anymore, and you're using your fingers to get the last few creamy bits of goodness out.
As the holiday season approaches, Hallowe'en-sized candy bars are scattered around the office, holiday-themed treats and bake sales abound, and every woman in here seems to be lined up for an engagement/bridal/baby shower complete with cake, cake cake. I'm reaching out. I need your help and support. I'm not a bad person. The sugar makes me bad.